Brother's and Sister's

Why, Why now? why do I feel so envious.. Envious of a past self.
I used to rule this world and stood on the summit viewing what was to one day be mine, I dream it still. THEN WHY IS IT I FEEL SO UN-EXPERIENCED. Why isit that I torture my heart by looking through endless photo's of those close to me and there God damn adventures while knowing full well mine will never be shown.

I feel so trapped in ignorance, I feel so helpless, I feel so hopeless I feel so forgotten by a God who promised, Who promised me. Why is it when I ask I receive in seed and not in fruit? Why is it that you know best? why why why why!!

A wordly man that lost his world..

I've done nothing, I've seen nothing, I do nothing, I am becoming nothing. A nothing that feels so comfortable to my soul, A desire I used to call on when all else was dark and in my sorrow capture it and bind it to my open wounds only to remind me that I am the nothingness of a mere joke. The storms coming and I am fearful that I have forgotten who I am. I am lonely. I am lost in apathy and I have forgotten all. My hea

help.

On a cloud 9!

Alright so things are falling into place!

Basically I'm looking fresh in these jeans, Should have job/income support rather soon - Quite excited as I know God has some insane plan to bless me with! ( $$£$££ )

I have been struggling with needing a zoot - Its been a real struggle not have crow on me at the moment, specially with the weather being so amazing!

My faith is strong but still nowhere as I should be! I just love Jesus so much mayn! Can not wait to worship tonight! Oh hold tight South East London watch the re-insurgence Christ has plans for this land of his! Malham is gna bring come hard!

Playing runescape and daymn man am I amazing! - CSS getting fun again!

Planning to proper "cotch" proof my garden for the summer its gna be huge!

So in love with my Becky Bramwell :3

Peace x

The normality of a expressive thought.

For a time there was once a me, A me that could only express great disatisfaction for the world and with God, That me was filled with un-comprimisable desire for chaos, A chaos in which the eye was the single most peaceful place me could be. I was an angry lil shit.

I am now 19, the idea of which is quite overwhelming. I feel lost for words, or rather lost in them, as the sentence I had on my lips and paragraph on my tongue become one word on my mind. It's a beautiful word, a simple word but one with deep meaning to all those who fully seek the concept of what it imples, It has a great gravity about it, a word that really cripples you and ushers you towards it, I sought it for so long and now I have it.

The truth does really set you free, My God is amazing, he is good, he is truth and so much more.

Freedom.

The grass is so much more greener, the rabbit hole so much more exciting, the truth so much more compelling and the freedom is so much more real with Jesus Christ and the God of Abraham, Issaccccc and Jacob.

My God my God my God, my eyes are set on you.

I have forgiven myself for leaving you behind South Africa.
I have forgiven myself for hating you so much England.

Peace, joy and freedom.