I've always had this deep understanding that I should not have lived. I see my life as one big joke, Due to the circumstances of my birth.. I guess it could be interpreted in two ways, But either is not one I would have wished on anyone. I mean.. My colour's.. my joke.. me the joke! I'm not even God damn funny.
I have this thing about me that which leaves me to really turn my ear in the opposite direction of conversation, I really really really hate having to open my mouth n talk.. I don't have the desire to too.. I only do so when I have a passionate spark of revelation that I can't keep with in myself. I kinda just need someone to empathize with me and have my life seem so less awkward.
God God God!!
Don't mistake this as depression, I'm quite happy in my ignorance and in my "world" although right now.. I'm quite lost.. I don't have anyone to turn too, I have no-one who will comfort me in my time of need. I am emotionless!! again.. the darkness calls me with solace.. with pleasure with needing.. my curtains shut my eyes open but closed.. the darkness that feels so warm.. so fresh.. so right.. How I miss the abyss of the soul, the consumption the fire. I wanna burn bitch burn! The light was never my thing, Maybe everyone is right.. maybe I am that which dwells in the place angels fear to go. My temple, My fear, My heart<3333
Righteousness, holiness, love.. wisdom.. How far fetched was I thinking.. My own personal stigmata.. sanctification, Well right.
Be blessed, and pray I find my way.
narwhaly0!
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