XXX

I went to Amsterdam, it was something I regret but something I don't. It was a city that made my fire burn, A city that challenged every moral every principle I had come to value, It was in Amsterdam I realized how I'd given up and how I had lost my will to strive..

I don't think people have noticed that for a long time I have been alot weaker in all regards, I dont know why.. But each day is becoming more of a struggle mentally due to my lungs passing. I seriously feel I have lost the will to live entirely.

The person I am Is not the person I am.
narwhalyo : dont presume to know
narwhalyo : make sure to know
narwhalyo : it is our business to know
narwhalyo : you know?


I know. I want to fight. God I want to fight again I cry for the sword and shield and the thunderous fields on which battles lay waiting, so tempting that I lick my lips in anticipation, But I can't move. This time last year I lost a fight, a pretty big one, I believe I have have spent the year re-gaining everything I had lost in that defeat. As the battle was lost the war will be won, I mean I have won through Christ?

I wanted to question loyalty: I don't think the "british" ( I use this word to describe the people I know as "british" not the entire nation) have this principle, they're lack of it has made me come to a few realizations, Friendships arent real here, Depression is not real here and love is not real here.

I don't know, I'm just that guy who talks shit right?

I think I've lost love.

Names Mitch.